Please. Ernest Hemingway shoved aside tougher guys than him just to get to a fight. Here are some more facts about the deadliest author in the American canon:
-The famous Running of the Bulls first began in Pamplona with hundreds of thrill-seeking Spaniards, who ran from several bloodthirsty bulls, who ran from Ernest Hemingway.
-If Ernest Hemingway ever asked you if you’ve “got your tickets… to The Gun Show,” and you said yes, he’d take you over to his garage and you would see exactly that.
-The cartoon character Popeye was very closely based on Ernest Hemingway—only they removed the beard and replaced Jim Beam whiskey with spinach.
-During WWII, the U.S. Navy paid Ernest Hemingway to hunt for u-boats in his wooden yacht.
-The rifles Ernest Hemingway holds in the pictures where he poses with his safari kills are just for show. We all know the lions actually died from his hard left hook.
-Have you ever seen a cartoon where a very strong man ties another man’s rifle barrel up in a pretty bow? This was Ernest Hemingway’s favorite thing to do during WWI.
-The novel Ernest Hemingway always thought was his greatest was Across the River and Into the Trees. If any of his other works are your favorite, then you are wrong.
-Moleskine journals advertise that they were once used by Ernest Hemingway, yet they leave out the fact that he mainly used one to beat a critic to death.
-They say if you put a dozen chimps in front of typewriters, eventually they would produce even Hamlet. But they could never do The Sun Also Rises. Not in a billion goddamn years.
-Mark Twain famously said that to a man with a hammer, everything looks like a nail. As it happened, Ernest Hemingway had a hard left hook and thought everybody looked like a douche bag.
-Your grandfather doesn’t like to talk about the war because he saw Ernest Hemingway.
Now here’s a challenge for all you dainty Francis Macombers out there. One of these tidbits is actually the focus of a newly published Hemingway biography. Can you guess which one?